Graduation Party=Torture

So far during my 25 days on the diet, I've been through some special occasions, and came out happier. I made it through graduation. Today, however, I attended my cousin's high school graduation party. His brother's party was held at the same location and I helped with the food, and ate, and ate, and ate. Today I didn't have that defense. I didn't know too many people there, so I didn't have many people to talk to. I couldn't stand to help with the food. It was sitting there taunting me. Buckeye candy...right there on the table, a snack so tempting I didn't even allow myself to make them at Christmas this year. Meat. Cheese. Oh how I want cheese. Started biting the insides of my cheeks because of how much I wanted food. I went out to the car and I had my shake. I went for a walk. I came back. I felt tortured. I asked my Dad if we could leave soon, and he said ok. I waited. I went for another walk. I looked at pictures. I felt tortured. I did the math in my mind of how much I want to lose and when. I tried to talk to people. 3 hours later I came home (2 hour drive) and made a shake into biscuits. STILL feel tortured. Ate an off-plan pickle. Ate sugar free jello. Had gum. WANT MEAT! Everything smells like beef stew and I want it.