aaaaand more accountability- Been off plan.

Work has been so stressful that, well, I took a sick day this week, but it was more of a "sick and tired of this" day. I had a slight fever and sick stomach, hurting head, but could have pushed through with the day if I wanted to. I know it will get better once I'm used to it, and I'm now about 3 months into the job. People at work said it took them about a year and a half to settle in and not feel constantly stressed...so I plan to just wait it out.

The consequence of the stress is that things kind of fell apart this week. My bedroom is a mess, my car is stuffed full of therapeutic supplies (i.e. children's toys), and lunch many days was a large coffee. So, I was still losing this week, but for bad reasons.
Then Friday I had a wonderful and much needed night out with a friend, no boys allowed, bought some smaller jeans that look very cute, and kind of give me a butt where mine is looking extra flat. I was hesitant to get these "lowest low rise" jeans, but she said "you're just worried about your extra butt (what I call my upper hip fat), but you don't have it anymore. Get them!!" and I did.

So after that, I wanted pancakes. REALLLLLY bad. And I made the decision to go to IHOP and eat those corn cakes, which were amazing. Then yesterday, for my Mom's birthday, I had a couple very small pieces of cake and one scoop of double churned ice cream. And two bowls of rigatoni. Today we are going to the county fair, but I have to get myself back on track on my modified program, AND start eating during the week!!!

I saw some family yesterday who I hadn't seen in about 5 weeks, probably, and they just couldn't believe how much I'd lost. Right now I'm wearing my favorite shirt from pre-diet. It is so big! Love it.

Work + Diet

I'm re-posting this from my Monday message on the message boards, because I've been too tired to think about much more:

I started a new job tody, and it's the first I've been working since starting the diet. As a new hire, I'm doing a lot of shadowing, and don't feel like I can pop out for a shake when I need it, and I also have earlier work hours than I am used to (but still leaving 2 hours later than my boyfriend does, so I shouldn't complain).
I was given a 1 hour lunch break...which seems really long when all you are having is a shake. I was SO hungry by then though.
I'm now certain I won't be able to meet with my previous group. In fact, I have no clue what my schedule will be next week. It drives me nuts when I can't even plan ahead that much. The center said I can call them the day before and try to set up an individual appointment with the dietician, so I'm hoping that works out...I just wish I could actually plan ahead.
So many times today I wished I could just go through the old drive thru and order a giant cappuccino. Or have a burger. Or just do something that was familiar and comfortable on this very unfamiliar day. But instead I went to the boyfriend's, went grocery shopping with him, and bought more chicken boullion and my saviors, pickle slices.

Week 8 Report

8 Weeks in, no real slips.
(1/4 teaspoon of parmesan cheese per week does not count as a slip in my book! Neither does 1 bottle of Propel or the day I had 10 cups of sugar free Kool Aid---which is heaven in a glass).

This morning's weigh in said 199.2. I'm expecting it to bounce up and down for a few days, but hoping to be permanently back in ONEderland next week. So I'm almost at my first goal of back to my start-of-grad school-weight!! I'm down over 30 lbs. now. I'm most excited that I'll weigh 5-10 lbs less for C's wedding next week as a bridesmaid than I did at S's wedding (maid of honor) 2 years ago. I couldn't stand to look at those pictures and can't believe how I binged my way above that weight again.

This week wasn't a particularly difficult week. I've been so distracted by other stressful things that it was nice to not worry about food (starting a new job, boyfriend needing my car while we shopped for a new(used) car for him, aunt leaving for Sierra Leone to try to adopt and having to help her get ready, family reunion, wedding stuff, etc.) We shall see how this holds up once I've actually started the job on Monday. I am skipping class next week, but will have to arrange something for the week after that.

Naughty Girl has not been posting--Week 5 report

Arr, it is hot today. I have not been posting much this week, so the blog is certainly behind. It's been another week, so it would be time for the weekly changes report. So, here's the "skinny"(haha) on Week 5:
-The woosh fairy came at the official weigh in, much to my delight. It caught the official number up to what I'd been seeing at home
-HOWEVER, the woosh fairy doesn't like to come to 2 different places. My daily weigh ins have been over the same pound up and down for over a week now. I haven't weighed in during the morning for the past 2 days, so hopefully tomorrow will show a different pound. That'd be awesome. I know I shouldn't pay too much attention to the scale, but dangit, I wanna.
-I attempted one size smaller pants again today, with success! My brown capris (cut loose in the leg, admittedly) zipped easily today, and actually had a little extra fabric on the butt. Not on the lower stomach, though
- My skin is getting increasingly fun to play with. I believe I feel much like a stuffed animal now. Fluffy. I am fluffy!
-I made it through a couple stressful events without eating. My car was ransacked by some theif I heard outside but was too chicken to check on, and I packed up to move out of my apartment (unrelated events). For both things, my very first instinct was to eat. Old habits die hard
- Gum is awesome. Orbit gum, specifically. I now carry 3 flavors on me. Gotta watch or I'll have too much.
- Went out to a drinking event (the small group I was with invited the headlining comic for drinks) and didn't drink even though it would have been more comfortable. Shared gum instead (unchewed pieces only)
-Still no migraines. Freakin miracle.
- Acid reflux only when I add garlic to the chicken biscuit mix thing

Send the WOOSH fairy, please!

On the liquid diet discussion boards, there is a mythical being called the Woosh Fairy. She comes to you while you are sleeping, and takes away a few pounds, so that you suddenly see a big drop. I would like her to visit tonight, please. Last week at my weigh-in, despite it being one day later than usual, I only showed a two and a half pound loss. I very much would like to show a 4 pound loss tomorrow, just to be able to prove that I'm still in it and not really cheating. Ok, so yesterday I had 4 pickle slices. That really should not be considered a big scary cheat, I say. Thing is, at my morning weigh-ins, I've been bouncing on the same pound to pound and a half for 4 days, meaning only 2 days of loss this week. Better than no loss, but right now, with how this scale varies from the one at the center, I'm thinking my loss will be mayyybe 2 pounds, 3 at the most. Still a decrease, but little enough to look like I'm not doing things right. I also didn't do much exercise this week...soooo....yeah....maybe I need to kick that up. And maybe 4 pickles is too much for some reason. I will say it sent me to the bathroom urgently within an hour.
So, all that said, to lure the WOOSH fairy, today I will:
- not eat even one pickle slice
- drink at least 10 cups of water
- take a shower (ok, this is just trying to motivate me to get going cause I feel lazy today)
- take a 30 minute brisk walk even if I do mow the lawn, too

Weigh-In

Weigh in was Tuesday this week because of the holiday. Well, weighing in earlier in the day I was hoping to show more of a loss. I wore stretch pants (jeans last 2 weeks) and didn't even have my shake before the meeting, just coffee and some water. Forgot to take my shoes off like I do for most weigh-ins. Down 2.4 lbs for the week, officially, which is a bit sad because the scale at home showed down 4 lbs. Darn you, coffee and shoes! I guess I just wanted the official record to say, SEE? I didn't cheat at the party! It was torture, but I didn't.
Instead, I had
5 sticks sugarfree gum
1 pickle slice
1/2 cup sugarfree Jello
1 flavor pack (crystal light type)
2 splendas in my coffee.
...plus the 4 shakes. What's sad (or happy?) is that this is what now constitutes a binge day for me.

So, now I'm hoping next week's weigh in to mark one month on the plan will be a big one. I am going to make sure that the exercise I get this week is aerobic and planned, and not just activity. I did decide not to add in weights yet, because I want to see how my body handles the aerobic exercise first. I did 1/2 hour at the gym today, per plan, and did not get extra hungry or lightheaded, so that's a good sign. We'll see what the planned working out does for the weight loss and body fat this week.

Day 17: Graduation weekend report

So, the big weekend is over, and not too many slips. I'm on New Direction FF, which is shakes only. My family had a big get together (13 people) for the Cleveland Kids' Run (night before the marathon) on Saturday. I made my shake in the car between events, but felt a bit weak from walking around for 3.5 hours. Afterward we went to a Chinese restaurant, and I didn't feel like I could have my shake, so I got the wonton soup and just had the broth.
Today I got up at 7 for graduation, and had my shake right away. Then we walked a mile to convocation, then a mile to the diploma ceremony, and they had food for us at 11:30. All they had was doughnuts, coffee, and lemonade. No water. I was not allowed to carry anything that wouldn't fit in a fanny pack. Fortunately, my sister lent me her fuel belt. She figured I'd need it worse than her today. So, I had 8oz. of water on me, and a slim fast bar tucked away. I had 1/2 of the bar, even though it's totally off plan and way too many carbs. I couldn't hook up with my family who had my bag until 2:30. Then we walked a mile back to the reception, where I made my shake and drank it outside. There wasn't much that my family cared to eat at the reception, but there was a street festival going on, so family members and boyfriend were stopping for hot dogs, sausages, etc., and there were fries and funnel cakes, but I didn't have them. Then we walked 2 miles back to my apartment, and now I'm going to soak in my tub and relax. I'm really worried about weigh in this week...but I guess whatever happens, happens.

Day 14--End of Week 2

Today wasn't as hard as yesterday. I did give in and try the chocolate cake...a dime sized amount that fit on the end of my finger. Savored that. I also had a few not-ok'ed pickle slices. BUT this makes 2 weeks with no major (i.e. too many calorie, fat, carb) deviations from the plan. No small victory.

So, here are my "things I've noticed" for week 2:
- Foods that weren't tempting before are more tempting now, i.e. I don't really crave junk much at all, aside from one taste. I want to eat good filling foods more.
- my biggest jeans button with ease now
- some underwear comes up to my belly button now
- Still no migraines
- People are already surprised I've stuck with it this long

Day 10- Don't tell the Nazi dietician...

...but I licked the knife after I iced a cake today. It tasted gooood, but I didn't have any more, and didn't even lick the knife clean. I knocked most of the icing off beforehand, but definitely not all. I also had beef broth, which was just about all salt. So, hopefully I still show plenty of loss tomorrow, but it should be fine. Not going for any records here. So yeah...managed to make a cake today and not eat it, and see the boyfriend and his brother chowing down on huge portions of food. It kinda made me feel good in a way (bad in the I WANT IT kind of way). I felt like, hey, I'm being the feminine one here instead of eating like the guys. But I still want a hot dog. And chow mein. I'm kicking myself that I didn't have those one last time before starting the diet.

Day 6---Still Truckin

Today was MUCH better than yesterday. A little hungry, but in a better mood. Had a job interview and it went better than expected!! It's not exactly where I would like to work...it's in another county, and it's home based family therapy. But it would be a good stepping stone. Just don't want to decide too early. On plan today, except for 1 pickle slice, 1 peanut, and 1 3/4 inch long piece of turkey bacon.

Had some more conversations with family about eating for my graduation. This diet makes people feel bad. In my mind, it really shouldn't. I mean, if we go out to a restaurant, yes, I'd rather it not be my favorite place, but it's my choice to do this diet. I wanted to go to extremes to lose the weight, and that means learning to live differently and break habits. One of those habits is eating when people expect me to eat (admittedly, not a hard expectation to make).

Sleepy today. That is all. Not a hint of a headache though!!!!