aaaaand more accountability- Been off plan.

Work has been so stressful that, well, I took a sick day this week, but it was more of a "sick and tired of this" day. I had a slight fever and sick stomach, hurting head, but could have pushed through with the day if I wanted to. I know it will get better once I'm used to it, and I'm now about 3 months into the job. People at work said it took them about a year and a half to settle in and not feel constantly stressed...so I plan to just wait it out.

The consequence of the stress is that things kind of fell apart this week. My bedroom is a mess, my car is stuffed full of therapeutic supplies (i.e. children's toys), and lunch many days was a large coffee. So, I was still losing this week, but for bad reasons.
Then Friday I had a wonderful and much needed night out with a friend, no boys allowed, bought some smaller jeans that look very cute, and kind of give me a butt where mine is looking extra flat. I was hesitant to get these "lowest low rise" jeans, but she said "you're just worried about your extra butt (what I call my upper hip fat), but you don't have it anymore. Get them!!" and I did.

So after that, I wanted pancakes. REALLLLLY bad. And I made the decision to go to IHOP and eat those corn cakes, which were amazing. Then yesterday, for my Mom's birthday, I had a couple very small pieces of cake and one scoop of double churned ice cream. And two bowls of rigatoni. Today we are going to the county fair, but I have to get myself back on track on my modified program, AND start eating during the week!!!

I saw some family yesterday who I hadn't seen in about 5 weeks, probably, and they just couldn't believe how much I'd lost. Right now I'm wearing my favorite shirt from pre-diet. It is so big! Love it.

Accountabililty

Well, 2 weeks ago I switched back to some food, mainly for financial reasons, but also because it's been increasingly difficult to get to meetings. The big cravings haven't returned, but some bad behaviors have.
I have not been so good about tracking my food now that I'm partially on real food again, and I have been having a few off plan things I'd really been missing, like meatloaf. I've still been watching what I eat every day, and am still losing, but I know it's a slippery slope. Really struggling with getting in my food during the workday and preparing it ahead of time. I often don't get lunches, so have to eat on the go and make sure it's something I can eat in the car (salads don't work out too well). It gets to be too much to think about, so I'll just skip eating til I get home, some days going 9-5 without anything.
It's been feeling like it's all I can do to make sure I keep my car and place acceptably clean, and get a decent night's sleep. Just a pileup of laziness. Got to get moving on that, or the weight will come back. Getting lazy about preparing food is how I got into this (obviously, skipping meals is not).